We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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