My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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