Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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