Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
