You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
40s are totally the cure
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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