I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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