my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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