I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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