respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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