Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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