So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
