There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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