Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize