we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
