he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
