Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I came so hard my ears popped.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize