I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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