Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
