His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
