So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize