That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
