if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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