Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
