He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
