ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
