What a fucking waste of an outfit
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
