Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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