I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize