he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
