I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
