So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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