ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
