someone threw a dead crab at me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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