Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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