We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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