You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
