Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
