Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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