but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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