Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
