and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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