Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
