8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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