Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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