Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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