It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
