I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
