We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
