his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
