Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
