New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
