then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
