Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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