god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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