Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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