i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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