Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it hurts more in the daytime
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
