i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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