lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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