Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
