You made me cry and you don't even care
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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